she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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