goodnight i made you a song goodbye
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
