I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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