I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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