loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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