she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
