This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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