I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
