Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
