I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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