then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
