End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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