you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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