how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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