I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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