I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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