I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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