i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
