i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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