butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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