just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
