well you can't waste a boner
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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