she was so not down for the gang bang
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
