Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
