Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize