I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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