Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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