Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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