All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
