I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
