she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
