I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
