summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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