I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
