Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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