We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
