Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
