Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
