She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
