I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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