i jhust puked up my retainher.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
