this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Boobs speak an international language.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
