She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
