Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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