I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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