Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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