i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
