dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
