I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
