I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
