i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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