Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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