I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
