I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
