I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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