Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
