I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hippo gnu deer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
