Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
