dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
