Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
