1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize