u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
