I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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