When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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