I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
