I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
